Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Weekend Fun+A Quick Update

Howdy, howdy! YOU GUYS IT'S ALREADY JULY WUT. This summer is flying byyyy!

SO. This whole iPhone-as-my-primary-source-of-photography-thing has gotten a wee bit out of hand. The reason being is that my phone is bombarded with, sad to say, selfies.** 

I think we all knew the selfies were rising on a larger scale, leaving me with the feeling that I should add a disclaimer before I post something. OOPS. Maybe it's time to break out the Nikon again.....

But I digress!

Reibs was off for camp this week, and we were feeling exceptionally artsy because we had to paint signs for her cabin. I painted her co-counselor's sign, whose camp name is Macaw. Reibs' camp name is Ducky!!


If you all remember my summer bucket list, I actually did something on it! Say wha?! Do artsy shtuff, check.




I rilly rilly don't like posting pictures of my "art" on the blog, because, well...I guess it's sort of a "personal" hobby? If that makes sense? Does it?! K. (Also, the owl drawing was inspired by something I saw on Pinterest!!)

On Saturday, Mom and I headed to the farmer's market to pick up some produce but it was CLOSED. Grrrr.



You see? If there was no selfie, it did not happen.

Snack on the road: Mom picked up a new kind of Nutrigrain bar, which I don't normally eat because of the high sugar+artificial ingredients, but this one actually tasted really good! It reminded me kind of a crumble, and reminded me how much I want to make these.


Some random pics from church (because I actually dressed up for once in my life):





We go to a fairly new church (less than 2 years established), and we meet at a local high school. There are a lot of paintings by students along the fine arts hallway, and look what I spotted:


OMG SHERLOCK. Swoon. (PS-I wept during that scene. Wept.)

I've also been working on Driver's Ed, the joy.



I shall drive soon! Soooonn.

Then my friend and I headed out for a hike:


And I slept over. We stayed up way too late watching Frozen, and I raided her pantry for Vanilla Cupcake Goldfish (um, yuh) and Teddy Grahams.



This x3 plus a few random handfuls...


Love her!


We had to get up early for her work, and I stopped at Starbucks for an on-the-go breakfast.



I was very impressed with their oatmeal! It had a nice flavor and texture. I added the dried fruit+nuts mix, blueberries, agave nectar, and had a huge banana along with it.



While it was certainly a tasty breakfast, it was definitely much less than my body is used to and I was practically starving an hour later!

Aannndd thaz about it. My friend and I have a hike planned in a few, and then sHoPpInG!

**you love my selfies and you know it

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Before I check out, I wanted to give ya'll a quick update on how things are going.

First things first, to get it out of the way...still no change on the "female problem" front.

I have strong suspicions that this is because I still continued to struggle the first few weeks after my decision. I so wanted to jump with both feet in, but the process ended up being more...experimental for me. I think I still had some lingering Ed thoughts that were not addressed properly, and those needed to be addressed first and foremost so I could move on.

Those issues: pretty much dealt with, I am happy to say!!! I think once I realized that what I had been preaching to you all for so long, were actually true. I regret some decisions I've made, but I've grown so much. After all, life is about making mistakes.

Here's where I am today:

I am doing sooooo so well. I just can't even explain how much better I feel. I feel like everything is different, in the best way.

- I have most definitely put on weight. I have not weighed myself in a while, but by the way everything is fitting, there's definitely been a change. Also, I can see it everywhere (everywhere!!)-. And it's not a bad thing. :) I look healthier.

-I am waaayyy more relaxed and chill about food. I hardly ever "think" about food. Don't get me wrong, I still adore food, but I just don't stress! I take less pictures of food, and more pictures of me and my friends, fun stuff, selfies (hehe) etc.

- I do more things that I enjoy - hanging out with friends, sleeping over, going on hikes, drawing, reading, and don't stress about it!

-Overall, I am just more relaxed and in a better mood. I have more room in my brain for fun things like shopping and fashion!

-I am so much more joyful - I am always hyper and in a good mood!!

-I smile differently. It's like a true smile - it's hard to explain!

Random thoughts:

-I'm way more intuitive about my body.

-I've been dealing with tiredness, although Robyn told me that it's a sign of a healing metabolism - yay!!

-I am NOT toned in any way shape or form, but I look so much healthier than a few months ago.

-I miss running terribly

-I will not be participating in cross country this season :(

And lastly, I just wanted to say that this doesn't feel like ED "recovery" to me. I don't really like to think of it as recovery. It's more of a physical healing, and mental/lifestyle change. I am in a different place and doing different things than when I was overcoming anorexia.

This feels much more relaxed, and normal. Things that would have been considered monumental in my Ed recovery seem like everyday life during this time. For example, having ice cream before lunch or eating candy at the movies. I would have applauded myself before, and now I just do it because it makes me happy.

So this will probably be the last update until I get the physical issue sorted out, because I don't plan on anything changing any time soon. :) Thanks for sticking with me, guys. Love ya.

8 comments:

  1. I love this so so so much. I love you. (not being creepy:) You are so awesome!!! And I know exactly what you mean about some stuff that would've been monumental and now it's nothing. ME TOO. I don't like to think of it as recovery either.

    ps you dress is adorbs.

    pps your ART! So amazing!! Teach me haha. Definitely post more!!

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    1. Love you too girl!! I'm so proud of you and your progress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are inspiring to me. :)

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  2. This is beyond amazing. YOU ARE SO INSPIRING!!! :)

    Girl you have the prettiest smile. I love your selfies. Keep on taking them. You're gorgeous.

    HOW IS IT ALREADY JULY AHHHH I CANT EVEN

    I am in love with your artwork. You are really talented. I know you said it's personal but I would LOVE to see more!! I especially love the birds you did, and how colorful everything is!! <3

    You should be so proud of how far you've come. Peace and happiness come from letting go of the past and I'm feeling very similar to a lot of your current thoughts. I'm here for you if you need anything. The "eating thing" is a thing of the past. For both of us. Time to start living again. For realz.

    a quote you might enjoy: http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/46/03/56/460356d970890af78a2ef5abcdc6e761.jpg

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    1. AW, thanks girly!! You are too sweet.

      You are SO strong and I love following you on your journey! Living is much more important than worrying about food.

      Love the quote, and so true! <3

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  3. Your art is SO beautiful, Jess!!! Like, holy cow. I know what you mean by art being a "personal" hobby though. Thanks for sharing your beautiful works though! It looks like you had a blast this weekend!
    I'm soooo happy to hear that your increased rest and increased calories are working well for you! I'm totally with you on those two things this summer. I still haven't gotten my girl problem all in place yet either...It's not always easy, but it'll be worth it girl. :)
    xoxo

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    1. Aww thanks, Alison!

      We're in it together, and you're right - it's SO worth it. I'm gaining so much more than I ever thought I would. :)

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  4. First of all, LOVE you haircut. AND your dress. AND your art! Huge blogger crush over here :)

    I'm a fairly new reader, so I don't know much about your story, but I've gone through some very, very similar experiences. And, like you, I'm also dealing that darn "female problem." Good for you for really being proactive about healing your body and your mind--it seems to have already paid off! You sound so, so happy :) It makes ME happy to read it!

    Have a great rest of your day! xoxo

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    1. Thanks chica!

      I am very happy - life is so much less stressful when you're not consumed with thinking about food/calories/stressing/etc.

      I'm so glad you stopped by, and hope you keep coming back! :)

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