Monday, April 8, 2013

Shooting for the Stars

Firstly, can I get a hallelujah for the spring break weather?!

It couldn't be a more convenient week to get awesome temps (we're ignoring Thursday and Friday's forecasts). This means that my flat-iron is going into hibernation pretty soon, but I'll deal with that when the time comes. So are my scarves and boots and sweaters! Ahh!
Before my train of thought choo-choos off into the sunset, I have a pretty important topic that just sort of came to my mind I thought I'd share on the 'ole blog.
Every human has two things that I think goes hand-in-hand: hopes and dreams.
Life tends to throw things at us that we don't expect/don't want - how we deal with them is our choice. It could be as small as perhaps a plan getting cancelled or as big as depression.
In any case, everything affects our dreams and future. For me, being a religious person, I believe that God knows every single moment and experience in our life, beginning to end, but He presents us with opportunities and challenges we either pass or accept.
Sometimes, these don't line up with the way we try to plan our lives to be. That's why we get disappointed so often.
Now, this may come as a surprise, but I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to life. I can analyze and overanalyze every single part of my life, every single day, however tiny the event. To the extreme, it gets exhausting, confusing, and stressful.
I preach and preach about self-care and letting go, but I admit: sometimes I struggle to just go with the flow and trust God.
Yes, our choices add up to our future, and we can't just sit around doing nothing (as in: "Oh, God's got me covered. I'll just wait.") - God and His Word are our guides. Literally every single time I open the Word, I find verses that pertain to my situation/problem/etc.
In the midst of my eating disorder, I had neither hopes or dreams. My life revolved around food, calories, and my body.

When I started to learn how to cope with/overcome my anxieties and obsessions, I found myself having a rather difficult time discovering what were my hopes and dreams. I was (and still am) going through that stage in life of, "Who am I? What's my purpose? What am I aspiring to do and be?"

I like to think I've gotten glimpses of answers. Thoughts. I get questioned about why I talk about food a lot on the blog and my answer is, well, because I like it. I've said before that coming out of what I've been through, food is seen through completely different eyes. Actually, pretty much everything has.

What are my dreams right now? Well, I want to go into medicine. I want to be an RD - something I've been struggling internally with for quite a while, seeing my history. I just have this overwhelming feeling that I want to teach others what I've learned, and what has changed my life. Trials and tribulations meant for the glory of God, and I want to change other peoples' lives.

Will this happen? Who knows. But I definitely feel this strong pull from this career opportunity, and I am praying hard about it. I'm only 16, but God plants seeds in our hearts for a reason. So, I'm just going to go with the flow. I want to enjoy this season in my life, this season of hopes and dreams. Sometimes I just gotta let go and trust my omniscient Daddy.

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