Words of Encouragement

Wow, it feels so good to finally pull up my "Compose" page again!

Has it really been over a week since I posted? Geez Louise!

I know I sound like a broken record saying this, but school has really been dominating my time. And the time that I get to myself I'd rather not spend blogging (sorry!), but doing other stuff that I enjoy.

Luckily there has been a lot going on these past couple of weeks!

First off, I've been in sort of a "slump." On the recovery side of my life, I've been doing significantly well, but this past week or two has just been a bit of a struggle. You get into this mode that, "Yeah! I feel great and will never ever use ED-like behaviors again!!" and inevitably follows with, "Whoops, looks like I had a little bit of a back-track." Luckily for me, I'm in a positive enough place to where I can pick myself right up and go on with life.

That being said, I've had a lack of seratonin, melatonin, and endorphins the past week or so. I was not excited about school on Monday, and I got an inspiring and motivating text from one of my dear, dear friends:

"Jess, I hope you have a good day! You are so inspiring to me and I want the best for you!"

That text was so refreshing to see on a Monday morning (yes, it's taken me almost a week to get this post finished)! Little acts of kindness go a long way. Hopefully this next week will get easier and happier for me. I have an amazing team, friends, and family, so that shouldn't be too terribly much of an issue. :)

So I have a lot of ground to cover about what's been going on, but I'll be as briefly detailed as possible. 

Last Saturday, the fam, my friend Savannah, and I went to an event called Celebrate Freedom. It's an all-day concert that has a lot of Christian bands that get together. We got there about 4 in the afternoon, so it was already halfway over, but we still saw a lot of good people!

 

My favorite Christian band, Sanctus Real, was supposed to be playing at exactly 4 (which is why we decided to arrive when we did). Uhm, no.

The story is that Hawk Nelson was playing in Oklahoma the day before, and was going to be arriving late. Therefore, without consulting me, Celebrate Freedom's organizers decided to switch Sanctus Real's and Hawk Nelson's playing time.

Likely story. Humph.

I love me some Hawk Nelson, but I was slightly very disturbed that I missed Sanctus Real. I got over it (coughcough...mostly), and Hawk Nelson ended up being great. I can't wait for their new album to come out!

By the time they were done, we were all melting in the Georgia heat.

Kudos to the bands for rocking out in the tropical rainforest climate!

After Hawk Nelson, one of my other favorite bands - Jars of Clay - played. They have a very different/indie sound, and it really appeals to me.

We were jam-packed under the pavilion, and there was a major greenhouse effect with all the bodies in there! The chairs were eventually moved out from under it, so we stood the whole time and leaned on a wooden gate that was there. Quite the convenience!

Got him in the middle of singing. ;)

There were multiple failed attempts at tricking depth-perception. 

 I think he knew what we were doing.

When the temperatures finally started cooling down, we explored around a bit. I was disappointed at the lack of band merchandise! However, it was still nice to wander around with Savannah and Rebeibs.

 

^^I do believe I have the most beautiful friends (and sis!) in the entire world.

After an hour or so, Jeremy Camp came on! (After Amy Grant's performance, in which we were walking around).

Jeremy's performance was incredible - so moving. I especially enjoyed his song "The Way."

The last performance of the night was.....Switchfoot!!

We were up super close! Like, right next to the speakers close. In the second pic, Jon Foreman was reeealllyy close to us.

I think the people screaming hurt my ears more than the concert itself. :)

I had a fantastic time, and I cannot wait to go again next year!

Suuuuunnndddaaaayyyyyyy.

Was probably one of the happiest days ever. EVER.

My best friend from when I was in residential came to my house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Throughout my stay in residential, Kristen was one of the greatest, sweetest girls I met. She is such a blessing to me!

It was really wonderful getting to spend 24 hours with her. I'll take all I can get!

So that's the low-down on what has gone on these past couple of weeks.

I hate to go MIA yet again, but this week, we're heading to St. George Island!!!!! No computers there. Whoo hoo!

Have a wonderful Saturday, friends!

(^^I couldn't think of a post title.)

Sooooo much for the posting more often. 

My bad.

I have just been crazy busy these past three weeks of school! I'm having a hard time balancing out school work with "Jessica time." I need to figure out a good system.

School has been exhausting. Good, but very tiring. I even slept in til 11 today - and boy did I need it! I feel much better after catching up on lost sleep. (Speaking of lost, I'm on the final season!! Ahh! What will I do without it?).

There hasn't been a whole lot of shenaniganizing going on 'round here, so you probably haven't missed much.

Well, except for me. :)

Things I'm looking forward to (and you too!):

• Concert Saturday 
• Seeing mah FRIEND (yayayayayay!!!)
• BEACH!!

Holy Homework Overload

Heeeyyyy there. 

Best recent picture I have. J can't have a normal pic to save his life.

I'm still here. Still blogging. Or at least trying to.

I have never before realized that school takes up so ridiculously much of my time.

Let's be honest here: Freshman year was a puddle jump compared to this year. Just rainbows and sunshine.

As of right now I believe that over half the students in the sophomore class are frantically flailing their arms to keep their heads above the 100 feet of stormy water that they're in.

Me included.

I really, really had it easy last year. Well, ahem, school-work wise.

Reflecting on my freshman year, I was definitely struggling. Mentally and physically. It was really tough! And adding school to the mix - in some moments it just made it that much harder. I struggled with being a painfully shy person, and dealt with a lot of deep hurts and insecurities.

But this year, I'm super proud of where I am. I've gushed lots about how far I've come and how much I've worked. I'm definitely a better place. Whoop whoop.

So here's the low-down of how school's been going thus far.

School-work level/homework: more than I've ever had. Really. I feel totally lame for saying this, especially thinking how last year I thought I was slammed every day. Uhm, no. Welcome to high school, Jessica.

I love all of the classes that I'm taking this year - they're all pretty much what I'm best at - social studies, writing, language, and science (I'm good at anatomy/life sciences.)

I hate to toot my own horn, but I will admit that I've always been a good student. Not exactly straight-A (I hate. Hate. Math and physical sciences), but really good in everything else. I like learning!!

I am in.....

AP World History. Holy homework overload, Batman. I'm glad to be taking only one AP class this year. Luckily I really enjoy history, and I have a good teacher!

Chemistry. I don't...I can't even....what???

Geometry. I took GPS this year, deciding to give myself a break (considering Algebra last year...coughcough), and I have to admit - it's soooooooo easy. Yes, I said it - easy (to my close readers....you know for a fact that that is an accomplishment in itself). Thank you LORD! No way I'm taking Advanced Geometry. I like making A's too much.

Healthcare Science II. Perhaps my favorite class. I love it. It's mah jam. (Or, in the words of That's So Raven, "JAY-UM!")

Lunch. Food. Yum.

Honors 10th World Literature. Lerv it.

Spanish 3. I would be taking Honors Espanol 3 this year, but they dropped the Honors program for foreign language! Ergh.

Schedule: Wake up. Wash hair. Towel dry/brush hair. Breakfast. Make up. Random things. School. Home. Snack/Television. Walk. Work. Sleep.

I lead an exciting life, friends.

MIA

I'm so sorry for the lack of posts lately!

School, you know. Such fun.

Well, for the most part. I've been soooo busy that I haven't had hardly any time to even think about blogging. With homework, appointments, and just general lack of time, I've had very little "Jessica time."

Hopefully as the school year goes on, it'll calm down and I'll be better at balancing everything.

So nothing terribly exciting has been going on around here. Just work. Most of my morning breakfasts have taken 3 minutes to assemble, such as this:

Best nectarine all summer.

Eaten in front of books.

My work has consisted of lots of World History notes. I got about 5 pages front and back, and I write really small. The joys of AP.



Also on the agenda, writing essays.

One of the easiest essays I've written. It was on LOST! Duh.

Lots of coffee and foam! This was the coconut vanilla coffee, and it was soooo good. I like my coffee strong, so I had to use a couple extra scoops when I brewed it, but it was so yummy. And I got it all to myself, because Madre and Padre don't like "fru-fru" coffee. More for me. :)

I've also been doing Geometry, Chemistry, Healthcare Science I, and Spanish 3.

Sometimes it's fun, others times, not so much. Luckily I like all of the classes I'm taking this year!

So by this week/weekend, I was already pretty burnt out, my chores hadn't been done in a few days, and my room hadn't been cleaned in a week, so I needed a little fuunn.

I got up at about 8:20 on Saturday, ate breakfast, and the went back to bed until 11:30!!!! The hit the trails wid Kerri.

Old pic.



Same trails, different route. This time we had to cross the creek and the water was significantly higher due to the storm Friday night! Most of those rocks were covered with water.

I nearly wiped out a few times...that wouldn't have been pleasant (though the water was really nice!).

It was an awesome stress reliever. Then, my good friend Taylor came over and we hung out for the rest of the night. Awesome day.

Today I will do absolutely nothing. While doing homework.

More posts this week, I promise!

First Day of School

"First day of school! First day of school! First day of school!" ~Nemo

That's exactly how I woke up Monday Wednesday morning. Not.

We started school on Wednesday this year, as it's August 1st. Which I frankly don't understand....we couldn't wait another three days? Oh well - gotta go with the flow.

So. First day as a sophomore. No longer a "little freshman."

 Does my face look reddish????

*Okay, that picture was when I got home from my first day back. We don't really bother with "first day" pics (we're terrible Americans!), but I thought for the sake of the blog I might as well. :)

I would like to use this post to gush about how much I love school, love being around my friends, enjoy having a schedule once again, but - unfortunately, that's not really the way it went down.

School actually reminded me that recovery...it's not all sunshine and butterflies. When you do well (which I have absolutely no regrets about), you get into this mode that "I am doing fantastic. I will never have ED thoughts ever again for the rest of my life and that's that."

Yeah, uhhh....that's not so true. At all.

But before I get into the icky stuff, I will assure you that there were many, many positive things that happened for me returning to school!

Right. Icky stuff first, and out of the way.

Being back in school basically flooded me with every single insecurity that I've ever had to resurface into my thoughts. It kinda sucked.

Being around people that I hadn't seen in two months, or that I've never seen/talked to at all left me feeling super vulnerable - after being with just my family practically the whole summer, being around a huge crowd of teenagers made me feel very uncomfortable in my own skin.

Okay, this is me getting vulnerable on the world wide web: I actually sunk back into the "Ed" thought mindset for a little bit. It wasn't like "I am fat therefore I cannot and will not eat," it was more of a depression/anxiety/insecure mindset. A hundred lies that I hadn't told myself in months completely weaseled their way into my brain - "I'm ugly. Everyone thinks I'm weird. I'm a loser. Nobody really likes me. I will never ever have a boyfriend and never get married. I suck. I'm not thin or lean enough. I'm the ugly duckling."

Terrible thoughts! I hate to admit that all these really did nag at me all day. But note that I'm not the only one who puts up with lies like this - pretty much all girls have issues like this one time or another. Especially girls dealing with or recovering from and ED.

So what did I do? I sucked it up at school. I stayed smiley and happy. Buuuutttt as soon as I got home I promptly cried myself the Nile River. <---some in Mom's arms, some face-down on my pillow.

But I don't say these things to get attention, or to have you feel bad for me - I say these things because they are the truth, and they don't only pertain to me. Most all of the girls in my school have felt these things before, or even on the same day!

After a good cry (which really did help - tears release endorphins!), a long talk with my lovely Mommy, and some froyo, I pulled myself together - and tried again on Tuesday.

Going into the school with a different mindset supremely helped me - rather than self-depricating self-talk, I said to myself one word (that is clearly stated in God's Word): Fearless. I am fearless!

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

2 Timothy 1:7

Long story short, it did the trick. :) God works that way, ya know. So what are the positive things that school has opened up for me?

It's a window of opportunity(ies). Opportunities arise of new friendships, strengthened relationships, academic excellence, nurtured talents and hobbies, self-discovery, and opportunities to serve and give back to others what you've been given.

I see my lovely friends every day, I get to take the classes that I thoroughly enjoy (except for geometry), I meet new people leading to new friendships, I'm back on a schedule.

Now that I have the first week out of the way, I'm going to make the best of the 177 days I have left in the school year. Plus, I'm still counting August as "summer" (cuz it is).

Looking forward to: BEACH!!!

A Hike, Baked Potatoes, A Garden, and Girlfriends

Once upon a time there lived a girl named Jessica.

She liked the outdoors, carbohydrates, vegetables, and her friends. Just like any normal teenager. (Well, and shopping - but that doesn't go with this post.)

Luckily, all of these things were incorporated in my weekend and the last few days!

I have been seriously wanting to go on a hike since I got physical activity back (which I'm still super excited about!), and I am so happy to have been able to hang out with my awesome friend, Kerri!

 

Check out her Camelback!

Kerri picked me up at about 2:00 Sunday afternoon, and we headed out on a great trail with cool 18th century "ruins." I thought that smack in the middle of the day was an odd time to be hiking, but the shade from the trees made it feel fantastic out!

It was a fairly moderate hike, and I quite enjoyed stepping over the rocks around the river. It was most definitely a beautiful view.

 

Proof of hundreds of years of erosion:

After crossing a small section of the river, we came across the ruins. Kerri said this was most likely an old paper mill.

 

From the inside:

And from the opposite side, up the hill:

 

Kerri and I marveled over what this would have looked like 150 years ago.

There was a huge cicada shell directly in front of me in this picture.

It really was a wonderful time, and a pretty moderate hike, so I felt great afterwards. We did stop for a snack break in the middle, and I had a Clif bar upon returning home.
When I got home, it was time to make dinner - and it was Baked Potato Night! The Madre and I made homemade salsa - all the veggies (besides the onion) were fresh from our garden!

A myriad of tomatoes that we boiled for a minute and then peeled:

 In go the other half of the tomatoes, and half an onion:

Blend, blend, blend away, but don't puree. (Hey, that rhymed!)

Then we needed some jalapenos (pronounced juh-lap-e-nohs) from the garden, so the Madre and I picked some fresh from our garden.

We were also psyched that our green beans are growing! There's a ton of them! We both squealed with excitement when we noticed them.

Back to the salsa, I added in about 5 or 6 smallish jalapenos, the rest of the tomatoes, garlic powder (we would use fresh garlic if we had some), lime juice, and salt (none measured). I blended it so that there were little chunks, but you can blend it to your desired consistensy. Then pour into a bowl and serve, but it's much better if you refridgerate it overnight.

We obviously didn't have time to refridgerate it, so it was a tad bubbly, but still spicy and delicious! Salsa is so versatile, so you can add anything you like. Cilantro seems to be popular in salsa, but I hate the taste of cilantro, so...none for me!

For Baked Potato Night we had a selection of maiz, frijoles negros, queso, cebollas, y salsa.

Contrary to popular belief, white potato = delicious + nutritious. Don't ignore the white potato, I beg you.



This was definitely a feel-good dinner. It had that filling, warming, comfort-food feel and taste, but it was still nutritious. Pshyah.

Monday, my lovely chicas came over for a last summer hoorah.

Then.......off to school for me! Sophomore!