I can do this.

Dangnabbit it feels like such a long time since I've posted!! Almost 3 weeks now!

I can't even begin to explain how crazy busy I've been since this month. Where to begin?!

First off: I know I've mentioned it a few times, and I had been going back and forth about it, but let's discuss cross country. So....I jumped the gun and joined!

And my gosh - it was one of the best personal decisions I've made in a long time. It took SO FREAKIN LONG for me to decide what to do - I felt like I had so many things going against me, so many doubts and insecurities that just ate at me. But I finally got out there, and I knew I was hooked. We've already had a race, I'm meeting new friends who love what I love, and a hobby is quickly turning into a passion!

We do so many different types of things that I'd never do at home, and I'd never have motivation for running by myself. Being with a team adds motivation to push myself and make and set goals. Most practices are hard - some are really super duper hard (for example, a lovely workout with the charming name "Killer Dillers") - but they're the highlight of my days, hands down.

I end my gushing about the team with a quote from Janae: "Running makes us better at life." I believe it.

That being said, cross country is the main reason for my blogging hiatus. I feel like a lot of my favorite bloggers are either taking a break/changing the format/something's changing and me no likey (I still luv them tho).

I don't want to cause that distress for the people who read my blog (there are like so many of you!!), but I have been pretty much physically/mentally drained for the past few weeks. It's not in a detrimental way, just as in I literally have no time. So here's my proposition.

I have to juggle school, studying/homework, practice, church, and any other things in between (such as babysitting/an event) and I now need to add blogging to that balance. Blogging takes up a lot of time, guys! Most nights I get home around 6 or 6:15 which leaves me a mere 4 hours before I need to get in bed so I'm not a mean person zombie bum the next day.

I'm reeeeaaaaaaalllllyyy going to make an attempt to have the blog somewhere on my weekly priority list. I'm still figuring things out, and I'm sure if I blog every day (not happening, yo), you'd get tired of me chatting about the gross awesome stuff from Nursing Essentials or A&P, or the fact that I fell asleep in Algebra once again...good times. I'm gonna be keeping up with my fitness/lifestyle/food/whatever theme, I'm just not entirely sure how to execute it.

Anyywwaayys in true fashion I've begun babbling. Maybe I'm thinking too much, maybe I should just go with the flow. Whatever happens, I'm not going to stress about it and keep reading and writing.

I have a long run and a long day tomorrow - wish me luck!

Still here, yo.

Hey, hey. Just popping in again to let you all know I'm still here!

I haven't forgotten the blog, in fact I think about it quite often, I just still haven't been able to find that time to fit in some actually interesting,constructive blog posts.

With cross country practice, school, homework, and studying all taking up my time, it's really hard to prioritize what I do in my small frame of down time. Sometimes I'd just rather lay horizontally on the couch with my eyes glued to the TV (and perhaps goldfish in hand?).

Plus, I am seriously lacking in pictures and just general topics to write about. However, I have a few posts up my sleeve so you're just going to have to bear with me on these sporadic posts! I'm figuring it out. :)


Have a terrriiifffiiicc Tuesday!

To practice, or not to practice....

Hai guyz!

So this was totally expected, but my bad for the blogging break for the past few days! It's actually been more like a week! I even had all of my WIAW pics doctored up, but time just slipped away.

As you all know, this was my first week of school, so I thought I'd just give a quick run down of what's been going on and hopefully this weekend I'll provide you with a more organized/constructive bloggy post. :)

The first day of school, honestly, was rough. I never do well with major changes, and I don't have very many of my friends in my classes (and the classes that I do, I'm sitting far away from them - dumb assigned seating!). I had kind of a social anxiety, and I didn't deal with it well which led to some catastrophizing of my "situation"....I'm a drama queen....

Anyhoo, as the days went on, of course they got better. I've made some new friends, stayed awake in algebra (for the most part), then suddenly I found myself at the end of the week! Past juniors weren't kidding when they said that 11th grade is the most difficult academically - I'm loaded with weekend homework/studying and my classes are getting more intense and fast paced, most noticeably in Healthcare and AP US History. Fun stuff!

In other news, I went to my first cross country practice this morning! I've already missed the first 4, along with the summer conditioning, so - yeah, I'm a bit behind. I had decided over the summer that I wasn't going to join and just go at my own pace - but it just wasn't working for me. I ran at least 2 to 3 times a week over the summer, but it got boring running the same route all by myself, and I wasn't really challenged.

I have a lot of self-confidence issues, so upon the start of the school year, I just sort of gave up on the team (keep in mind that I have dreamt of joining since like 7th grade), but my AP World History teacher (sophomore year), who also happens to be a coach, has been bugging encouraging me to come out and run with them.

I kept refusing and refusing, but also like...obsessing about it. It was one of those things that I knew in my heart I wanted soooo badly, and I knew it would be hard work and not easy and I know that I have a lot of work to do to get better, but I want it anyways. So after declining an invitation to practice for the 2039584395874385th time, I was given a long pep talk.

It proved effective, and at 5:45 this morning, I jumped up out of bed and was at the school's track by 6:15.

Today was time trials and I honestly had no idea what was going on - I was just sort of out there and planned on doing what everyone else was. We ran a 5k around the school and track (technically a little less), and I came in with a time around 25 minutes. I was one of the last girls to finish, and I felt fantastic.

Everyone was really encouraging and just sooo nice. I'm not really officially "part of the team" per say, I'm just going out there to experience it, and hopefully I'll be on the team? It's a weird situation that I can't really explain over the blog, so just know that I'm with them, and I'm running. I have yet to experience actual practice, which is a little intimidating, but I have to keep telling myself not to be self-conscious, have confidence, and to perform to the best of my ability.

The thing is, is there's no freaking way I'm doing 20 regular push-ups on the first day. My sprints will not be legit sprints. Pushing past 4 miles is probably going to feel like h-e-double hockey sticks.

I'm not going to be the best, within the best, and I probably never will be the best. But I'm going to be the best I know I can be, and that's how it should be. I've never really pushed myself, but I know from past experiences that I have willpower and dedication.

Let's be honest, I'm freaked out. Freaked out, but pumped.

Pancakes make everything better

Morrrrning! This week has been quite the whirlwind. The start-of-school jitters are starting to set in, and I'm sort of frantically preparing (and convincing) myself for school Monday. Although my life has sort of come to this....

Uhhhh, it's normal to plan like this, correct?

Not surprisingly, one of the main concerns popping up frequently for me is...when am I going to run?! We'll have to experiment with times!

In preparation for school, we've been running all kinds of errands the past couple of days. We started off by taking a trip to Target on Wednesday (my wonderland!) for school supplies.

Binders, notebooks, paper, pens, pencils...all that jazz. I also got a planner, calculator, and new pencil case! No new book bag or lunch box, though. My ones from last year are still in good condition!

I had a little money, so I got some new shirts, a cardigan, and a new purse. You can't start school without new clothes, right? ;)

Yesterday, I woke up and had some of my first Kodiak Cakes, that I found at Target! They were great, and I love that you only add water, and I especially love the ingredient list/nutrient facts.

Meow!

We went to Jonathan's 5th grade (!!) open house at 1, where he met his new teacher. It was so weird walking those halls, because I have so many memories of 5th grade!!!! And all of my teachers have now moved on to different grade levels, so J didn't have a chance to get any of them.  

Then I finally got my hair cut!! I told the lady I just wanted a trim, but apparently my ends were awful (which I already knew), and she cut off a good inch and a half.

Before (straightened, obviously):

They really were bad....

After:

Uuuhhhh not the best picture of me....but my hair is way healthier. And shorter.

My school fiinnaallyy posted my schedule - this year I'm taking Honors Spanish 4, Nursing Essentials (Healthcare Science 3), Honors Am. Lit, Algebra, Honors Human Anatomy and Physiology, and AP US World History. 

I have to admit...I'm having some anxiety about the schedule. I'm really excited about all my classes, but I also get a little disappointed in myself (ex. only taking one AP class), and I'm worried because I don't have a lot of my friends in my classes.

Honestly, most of my friends aren't taking Spanish 4, taking more than one AP class, and definitely taking a higher level of math. But the truth is, I love Spanish, I'm no good in math, and I love history and would rather make one 5 than a couple 3s and a 4 (I made a 5 on my AP World History exam, by the way). I have lunch with my best friend (thank goodness), but not with Rebekah, and that's super hard. I'm trying to keep positive and hoping that I'll have friends from my "group" in my classes, but also that I'll be able to come out of my shell and make new friends. Everything happens for a reason, and I'm just trying to pray instead of worry, considering last year was one of the best school years for me.

Hanging out with friends always makes me feel better, and Friday Rebekah, my friend, and I all hung out at the mall. We stayed for almost 3 and a half hours, which is a record for me, and visited all of our favorite stores!

We enjoyed that hats a little too much...clearly. ;)

We were pooped by the time we got home, so I nixed the workout I was planning (stationary bike or run) - mainly because my feet and legs were sore! Something about the mall wears you out.

Pancakes + friends + coffee = everything is better. Hopefully this will last through to school!